


Restless

by Shtrigga



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Death, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Spirit - Freeform, afterlife experience
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-11
Updated: 2015-09-11
Packaged: 2018-04-20 07:12:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4778249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shtrigga/pseuds/Shtrigga
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A restless spirit. Alone against the cold emptiness. A vagabond soul. Which cannot get warm.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Restless

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Неупокоенный](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/143084) by Kroatan. 



> I'm not a native English speaker. So, I apologize for the possible mistakes. Feel free to correct and comment. I love this story very much)
> 
> Inspired by this wonderful fanart  
> https://pp.vk.me/c624019/v624019967/418ff/MkLMPOx9Juo.jpg  
> and the song "Lullaby For Cain" by Sinead O'Connor

_Oh, Mahal, how cold it is…_

Barely dragging one foot after another he was wandering through the icy desert. 

_How much time has passed?_

He didn’t know. He just went ahead. For ages. The wind tousled his hair, blew off the blue knitted scarf, baring hot skin and touching it with prickly, bitter cold fingers. He got shivers up his spine. Even warm clothes didn’t help already. 

_Where am I? Why’s no one looking for me?_

His heart was heavy and somehow empty. He was freezing. He didn’t understand anything. He just wanted to go home.

_What kind of place is it?_

The snow flew into his eyes, blinding, burning. There was nothing around but the white emptiness. Alien. But harmless. More like… indifferent. No one here cared for some dwarf traveling lonesomely along the void. 

_How did I get here?_

At first he was screaming. Calling for help. Nobody responded. And then he just fell silent. For miles around the only two sounds were howl of the wind and boots crunching in the snow. Why would one scream, when there is nobody to hear?…

_Kili? Uncle? Why am I here? Where’s everyone else?_

Something has happened. Something very bad. He felt his stomach twisting into a knot of inexplicable anxiety and sadness. Arms around himself, in a futile effort to preserve body heat, he frowned and tried to remember. His mind didn’t allow. He couldn’t figure it out, couldn’t reach to the images flickering before the eyes too quick to distinguish. 

_I just want to get warm… Is it really too much to ask?.._

Tips of the ears were burning. His fingers lukewarm, he started to rub his cheeks, gradually losing colour. Soon this warmth will also go away. 

_What matters now is moving forward. Don’t stop. Don’t fall. Or you’ll freeze to death._

**Death.** This word echoed painfully in his heart. 

_Has someone died?_

His dad has. Father whom he never knew.

_No. That was a long time ago. Not now. In another life._

But what happened now, then? He continued ploughing his way through, ice crusting underneath the heavy steps. The images kept rushing incoherently here and there in his head alongside with snowflakes. He tried to remember what was the last thing before he ended up here.

_This place is unreal. I’m dreaming. Because I don’t remember how I got here._

Particularly nasty gust of wind crept under the clothing. He shuddered. Stiffened. The teeth began to chatter. With white-knuckled hands he gripped convulsively the collar of his coat. 

_But if it’s a dream, why is it so real?_

He felt lost. Abandoned. Helpless.

_I need to get warm... My limbs are getting colder…_

He could not differ reality from dreams in colorful fragments, flitting before his eyes.

_Uncle? Dwalin? Anyone! Answer me.  
Please…_

Or maybe these bizarre memories were just a dream? Maybe he’s always been there? Walking through the white frozen world. For ages. The only inhabitant of this place. Its prisoner. Maybe he made those faces up? Then why did his body shudder without end each time he tried to remember…

_What year is it now? What hour?_

Past, present, future – everything has been erased in the wild whirl of snowflakes, everything has been swallowed by blinding whiteness. His strength was on the wane. Nature’s silent indifference was oppressing, his heart was pounding up in his throat and suffocating him. But he couldn’t afford to sit down. The thought of being down on the cold stones powdered with a light snow somehow made him shake. And fear. Fear that he will never get up and stay motionless on the frozen ground. Forever. 

This image suddenly called to memory another one, a very similar. 

_A scrap of one of the dreams? Or an actual event?_

He couldn’t tell. But the image was so vivid. So detailed. He was already lying on the cold stones once. Just the other ones. A visual remembrance brought back a series of other feelings, flashing one after the other in his benumbed brain.

_I was flying?.._

_I was falling…_

And then all he could see was the sky. Distant, milky-white, leadening. As if the sun has never existed. And…

_Kili…_

He stumbled.

_Thorin…_

Everything went black.

It got colder. The blizzard didn’t even think to abate. The last drops of the heat were leaving dwarf’s body. 

_Please, take me from this place… I don’t want to be… **here**._

Deep inside he began to realize. He understood but refused to believe.

_This is not true. I’m still here. I’m still breathing. I won’t give up. Don’t walk away without me…_

This can’t be real. This is just a dream. A malicious joke… He has to wake up.

***

He was still walking on, slowly, wearily, listlessly. He was trying to hide from the keen wind and the whirling snow beating in his face. He couldn't help hot tears rolling down his cheeks, while the wet traces froze immediately. All hope was gone. From now on he will never get warm. 

He dreamt of oblivion. He craved for the indifferent desert to take his sanity away. To lose the unwanted memory of who he was. To forget what has happened. And just walk. Forever. He wanted to escape one simple but cruel thought.

**He died.**

_Kili? Thorin? Where are you? Don’t leave me here alone…_

_Please…_


End file.
